Cure for lonely

 I think most of us have experienced a feeling of lonliness at some point in time. But do you ever think about the relation between being alone and feeling lonely? People tend to make the assumption that being alone=lonliness, which I don't believe at all. I look at it this way, being along is a physical state of being, ie you're alone in your room. Lonliness on the other hand is a an emotional state. So really these two things are completely different in nature and aren't really related. However we've somehow told ourselves the opposite is true.

 We fear being alone, and that fear is what brings loneliness into our lives. Most of us don't even know how to be alone, we feel like we need a certain amount of interaction with other people in order to stay sane. I always thought that was normal but it's really not. Don't you think it's bizarre that we look to connect with other people only to avoid connecting with ourselves? What is it about just being with ourselves that makes us so uncomfortable?Why does a physical state of being alone cause us such fear that it brings about an emotional state of loneliness and how do we change that?

I think the only way to get over loneliness is to be alone. Now I know it may not make sense at first but just hear me out. The reason there's so much fear surronding the thought of being alone is because in most cases it's unfamiliar to us. Many of us haven't ever really been alone before, because everytime we are we reach out for someone or something to distract us from ourselves. We need to become comfortable with being alone with ourselves, it's the only way we can get connected to what's really going on with us beneath the surface. Once you embrace the thought of enjoying your own company the issue of lonliness has a way of disappearing.

I like to think of lonliness as a reminder to connect with myself. Any time I've felt lonely it wasn't really because I was out of touch with other people it was because I was out of touch with myself. So next time you feel lonely try to dig deep and get to root of that feeling. Is the lonliness there because you don't have anyone to distract you from what's going on inside of you? If so, I suggest tapping into that feeling, let it guide you back to connecting with who you are and what you need...no distractions.

single for the holidays

I know around the holiday season it can get especially hard to deal with relationship issues whether it's friends, family or romantic. It's crazy but even when being surrounded by a ton of people around the holidays we tend to feel lonelier than ever before. That loneliness is brought about by all the comparing we do...We start comparing ourselves to all those people who are in relationships (real or otherwise). Other times we get hit with nostalgia like a ton of bricks and start comparing our last relationship to our current state of singleness. Or maybe you just compare this entire holiday season to one from your past and start counting all the ways things are different this yr. Whatever it is you're comparing, the point is you're comparing! And we really shouldn't compare our past to our present. This holiday season is different, just accept it. But just because it's different doesn't mean it has to be bad . Different can be amazing and beautiful.


I speak from experience when I say that it can be hard not being in a relationship this time of year. Just yesterday I got hit with the dreaded sense of nostalgia; started thinking about a past relationship and felt myself getting so bummed out I was practically channeling the depressed donkey from winnie tthe pooh . And wanna know what I did? Stopped watching the sad romantic drama mess on my tv! It wasn't till that moment I realized just how much that kind of stuff can affect us. We get bombarded with all these images of happy couples and families and start to feel like there's something wrong with not having that right now, like there's something wrong with us. We buy into this idea that the holidays are somehow less special if you're alone. But the truth is all the happy couples in commercials, and movies are FAKE! Somehow we overlook the fact that these images that are being fed to us are fiction. Now I'm all about happy couples, I love to see them, but more often than not when you look around at couples today they're nothing like the ones in the movies. Some of the real couples aren't even happy because the only thing keeping them in the relationship is a fear of loneliness. And settlling out of fear is most definately not how I want to spend my holiday season.


Theres a lot about this time of year that can make us buy into the illusion that we're lonely. And For the record being alone does not mean you're lonley. But I get it, we all want to share our lives and love with people who will love us back with just as much intensity as we do them. That's the key to all of this though, is realizing that what you want isn't just someone to kiss under the mistletoe or on new years. What you want is way better, because you deserve way better. Now is not the time to settle for less than you deserve, that would be the worst gift you could everrr give yourself. So this holiday season forget your ex, forget about how your friends are all coupled up, forget about anything and anyone that brings you down because this is meant to be a time of celebration! The holidays are meant to be a celebration of Love and you my darling ARE LOVE. So get out of your funk and celebrate you and all your awesomeness! you deserve it!