Attachment Sucks!

I have an amazing amount of empathy, it's part of what makes me kinder, and gentler at times but also kind of haunts me. Not quite sure when i developed this, but it's a part of me now and i don't see it going away any time soon, nor do I want it to. The only downside is feeling stressed and worried, and hurt for someone else, even if you're not involved in the situation.

I think a lot of people get really good at turning off their emotions or maybe they've just mastered the art of detachment. Whatever the case may be, I've noticed not all of us have this issue with empathy. However, for those of us that do, it's definately a struggle. It's like there's an automatic energy exchange between you and someone else and suddenly you're the one feeling burdened even when you don't personally have a reason to.

I didn't even notice this was that big of deal until I started seeing a couple I cared about go through a divorce. I know there was nothing for me to do, and it was not my place to try to fix anything. I'd come to terms with the fact that everyone is going through their own process and sometimes there are difficult situations we choose to bring into our lives because they're necessary for our growth. I knew all of this but still I wanted to fix it. Not the marriage, but the hurt, and sadness, the anger, and resentment. It was then I realized just how much I felt all of their emotions, and how badly I wanted to stop. I wanted to fix things because I was at a point where I couldn't take it anymore, I was hurting right along with them and I felt awful.

Clearly I was too attached, to the people, to the situation, to everything. For several weeks I felt like I was being guided toward a single lesson...releasing attachments. And I understood that lesson on a superficial level before but now I really get it. I've peeled back the layers of that lessons and gotten down to the very core of it. Suffering comes from attachment. Now I know this probably sounds pretty rational and you think you understand that statement enough but odds are you don't. You can't possibly understand how deep that statement is until you've managed to disect it and proceeded to see and feel how it's relevant to every aspect of your life.

So today I challenge you to think about that statement "Suffereing come from attachment".
Think about what that really means for you in your life.
What are you attached to? how has it caused you some level of suffering?

Do you really WANT to be happy?

When asked do you want to be happy most peopless immediate response is yes, they don't even bother giving the question much thought. "Doesn't everyone want to be happy?"....No...Truth is if you look around you'll notice a lot of people are perfectly content with being in a chronic state of unhappiness. Now I say these people are content in that state of unhappiness because they don't really do anything to change it. I mean sure they TRY to be happy but there's a huge difference between trying and actually doing. These are individuals who've decided to be a product of their enviornment and allow life to happen to them, they don't really live it.  How do I know this? I was one of them, and for the longest time I wasn't even aware of it.

 I think a lot of us have been conditioned to think that it's noble to suffer or be unhappy. Even from childhood all my favorite princesses had a tragic side to their story, and the tragedy was necessary! I mean they would've never gotten rescued by their prince had they not been in distress. And maybe I watched one too many spanish soap operas growing up, but I felt like I had to have drama in my life in order to get my happy ending... I was under this crazy illusion that you can't be happy unless you have pain first. So when bad things came up I held on tight, I'd almost feed off of it. I got into the habit of victimizing myself (not aloud to others but tust me I definately had that "poor me, life hates me" conversation with myself more than once). Before you know it you're in a chronic state of unhappiness, telling yourself you're trying to find your way out but this is something that's just out of your control.

Truth is there is no secret key to happiness, and the only reason it seems so unattainable to us is because we make it so. One of my favorite quotes is "If you want to be happy...BE". It's as simple as that. Sometimes we get so caught up in our external circumstances that we forget how much power we really have in our lives. All you have to do is choose to be happy and commit to that decision. Happiness isn't something you get when everything around you is "perfect". Happiness doesn't come around when you have a lot of money or the perfect relationship. Happiness is a state of mind, and depends on nothing and no one but you. Now I know things happen in life that hurt us, it's not all fairies and unicorns 24/7, pain does exist. But All you have to do is realize every difficult situation in your life is just a lesson waiting to be learned. Recognize pain as opportunity for growth. Start being thankful for those difficult moments, cherish the lessons they taught you, let go of the pain, and look forward to the beautiful things life has in store for you. Once you decide you really want to be happy and change the way you percieve things you'll find happiness in the most unexpected places. Always remember there's a ton of things to be thankful for and happy about, and if you can't think of one, just check your pulse...

PS Here's an amazing song that I think goes along with this theme of happiness.
Hope you like it.
Much ♥