Being Angry

There's been so much going on and so much on my mind in the past few weeks that I don't even know where to start with this blog. It feels like I haven't written in forever, but I have an insane amount of things to say.  I mean I seriously started like 7 posts (that I fully intend on completing and sharing asap) but just couldn't commit to finishing them at the time. I guess I just couldn't bring  myself to write anything because I've been too angry.. And obviously if I'm gonna share something with you all I want it to have a silver lining and be uplifting in one way or another. I wasn't just going to share bad vibes with you, but at the same time I wasn't ready to let go of my rage just yet.

So this leads me to todays post about anger. I know everyone always has advice on what you should do with your anger and if you're anything like me that probly gets on your last nerve.  My least favorite thing to hear is "just release it". Well today I say FUCK THAT! There is no just realeasing when you're fuming inside! Honestly when I'm furious I can't release anything because I don't want to! Sometimes it feels good to just let it sit with you. Sometimes trying to let go of your emotions too soon just makes you feel worse because you haven't allowed yourself the freedom to feel anything.

Most of us have this bad habit of shewing away any emotions we see as "dark". But the truth is emotions are just emotions. We shouldn't label them as good or bad. In order to be true to yourself you have to honor all of feelings, otherwise it's just another form of repression. I say feel your anger and stop trying to shove it out of the way. Try to allow yourself some time to completely feel your anger without doing anything else, without trying to hide or fix it. Take a day, an hour, however long you need, to take it all in. The key to this though, is not acting on it, all you have to do is give yourself permission to feel. Hang out with your anger until it stops feeling good, you'll know instinctively when it's time for you to release it...when it starts feeling heavy and holding on to anger feels like a burden, that's when it's time to let go.

So ask yourself have you been trying to shove your anger away, labeled it as a "bad" emotion?
have you been trying to force yourself to let go of your emotions before you're ready..befor you've allowed yourself to feel them?

what are you afraid to express? what ingredient are you leaving out?

What are you afraid to express? We've all had something we're afraid to express or embrace. Sometimes it's because we're scared to be judged by others but most of the time we're just scared of ourselves. There are bits and pieces of ourselves that we like to hide away for no one to see, not even us. We know they're still there but refuse to let them out...I've always felt like a caged bird, but it wasnt until recently that I realized I was the one caging myself in. I longed for freedom and thought that came with changing my external circumstances but just like with everything else it all starts from within.

I believe we fear ourselves much more than we fear anything or anyone else. Fear what we feel and believe and sometimes even fear those things we know deep down we need desperately. I feared my freedom. Now let me explain, all of my life I've been responsible, dependable, logical, for the most part I am queen of keeping it together. I don't usually take risks, and in the rare instances that I do they're VERY carefully calculated and odds are I have nothing to lose. But despite how logical practical and put together I am there's always a part of me that wants the freedom to be completely reckless.

I would look at people who were crazy impulsive and took risks and WISH I could let myself go enough to do those things, to be that free. But I never trusted myself, that's what it all comes down to. I thought that if I let that crazy impulsive fearless side of me out of it's cage all hell would break loose. In all serioiusness I was scared of the damage I could do to myself, of the bad things that could happen. And how insane is that??!! do you know how bizarre it is to limit yourself and basically cage yourself in emotionally because you don't have the courage to trust your own inner wisdom. I mean I really don't know what dangers I thought I was protecting the world from by denying myself a sense of freedom, and to be completely honest it hadn't REALLY hit me how ridiculous I was being till I started writting this.

When we lock away all those pieces of ourselves that we view as a threat or see as potentially dangerous ( whether it's our emotions, impulsiveness, sensuality, etc) we deny ourselves the freedom to be ourselves. Even the things you're afraid to express are a part of you. Leaving them out of the equation doesn't make you a better person it makes you incomplete, and a tad bit repressed.

Have you ever cooked something and left out an ingrediant only to find yourself disappointed with the end result? You know that feeling you get when you first bite into something that looks amazing but instantly tastes like it's missing something. You may not know what's missing but you instinctively know there's something that could make it way better...Ok now think of a time where you tasted something perfect, nothing was missing, every flavor blended and complimented each other in such a way that your first bite was nearly orgasmic, remember that? Well that's kind of what we're like. Think of yourself as a full course meal in progress. Any time you deny a part of yourself you're leaving out an ingredient that makes you that much more amazingly delicious.

Learn to embrace all the pieces of you and above all trust yourself! Trust that inner guide and inner wisdom that knows how to bring you balance and mixes all the parts of you to perfection in order to create the most yummy version of you possible!