I've always heard how all humans want is to love and be loved. simple enough right? Well not quite. It seems in most cases it's a lot easier for us to give love than to recieve it. It may seem strange but I assure you it really is a problem!
Why is it so hard for us to accept love sometimes? I don't think there's one definitive answer to that question, the reasons are different for everyone. I had two major reasons for why it was hard for me. #1.control #2.self love
Ok so I'm the first to admit that I've often used ice Queen tactics in order to scare people away because honestly feeling loved scared the shit out of me. I was perfectly comfortable giving love, showing others i care, but it always made me sooo uncomfortable when people recipricated. I always percieved love as something that was fleeting, and why would i want any of that? my thoughts always went to "sure, you're gonna love me today and take it away tomorrow..thanks but no thanks..do me a favor and kindly back off". So not allowing myself to be loved was in a way just me trying to control the situation. Making sure i was safe from disappointment, because i just "knew" that if i didnt control that I'd end up hurt...I never noticed till a yr ago just how much of an issue control was for me, but it was really just my way of feeling safe because i assumed everything and everyone else would let me down. The ironic part in all of this? Despite my desperate need to control things, I was letting myself down the entire time..
I'd get into this sort of mothering zone where i was just used to being in control and taking care of others emotionally, but no one was mature enough to help me..self rightous? maybe a little, but it was the sort of scenerio id dealt with all my life and my skewed perception made it difficult for me to see things in any other light.
Which brings me to reason #2...self-love...now i'm sure if you've read any of my previous posts you know by now that I have a tendency to come back to this self love point. And yes i'm about to make that point again, but think about it...you can't possible talk about love without addressing the love (or lack thereof) that you have for yourself. Another reason why i couldnt fully accept love from others was because I didn't believe it. I thought they were being disingenuous because quite frankly i didn't see what the hell was so lovable about me, and i thought i knew myself better than anyone else. i cant find a good enough reason to love myself so why the hell would you? you must be faking it..
Take it from someone who knows..it's sad when you don't allow yourself to loved by yourself or others. You feel like a glass half full . and i know some peopl think that's supposed to be a good thing but let me just say being all the way full beats being half full anytime!.
so here are my top 3 suggestions on how to get more comfortable with recieving love
1. feel uncomfotable- you've gotta allow yourself to feel all the discomfort if you plan on gettin to the good stuff!
2. Say I love you and why- I know there are already a ton of affirmations out there that encourage you to tell yourself how awesome you are but being the analytical thinker I am, I always feel like having a reason why helps things really sink in.
So I'm gonna ask you to take it a step further than just looking in the mirror and saying I love you. Come up with one reason why you love yourself, (actually you could come up with an entire list explaining why because you're amazing and there are a million things that make that true) and post it below... So what if it seems like bragging, I can assure you, you probably don't brag ENOUGH about yourself!
sending you lotssss of love! and asking you to please recieve it ..Cos remember darlings "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"
♥Rosi
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