Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Attachment Sucks!

I have an amazing amount of empathy, it's part of what makes me kinder, and gentler at times but also kind of haunts me. Not quite sure when i developed this, but it's a part of me now and i don't see it going away any time soon, nor do I want it to. The only downside is feeling stressed and worried, and hurt for someone else, even if you're not involved in the situation.

I think a lot of people get really good at turning off their emotions or maybe they've just mastered the art of detachment. Whatever the case may be, I've noticed not all of us have this issue with empathy. However, for those of us that do, it's definately a struggle. It's like there's an automatic energy exchange between you and someone else and suddenly you're the one feeling burdened even when you don't personally have a reason to.

I didn't even notice this was that big of deal until I started seeing a couple I cared about go through a divorce. I know there was nothing for me to do, and it was not my place to try to fix anything. I'd come to terms with the fact that everyone is going through their own process and sometimes there are difficult situations we choose to bring into our lives because they're necessary for our growth. I knew all of this but still I wanted to fix it. Not the marriage, but the hurt, and sadness, the anger, and resentment. It was then I realized just how much I felt all of their emotions, and how badly I wanted to stop. I wanted to fix things because I was at a point where I couldn't take it anymore, I was hurting right along with them and I felt awful.

Clearly I was too attached, to the people, to the situation, to everything. For several weeks I felt like I was being guided toward a single lesson...releasing attachments. And I understood that lesson on a superficial level before but now I really get it. I've peeled back the layers of that lessons and gotten down to the very core of it. Suffering comes from attachment. Now I know this probably sounds pretty rational and you think you understand that statement enough but odds are you don't. You can't possibly understand how deep that statement is until you've managed to disect it and proceeded to see and feel how it's relevant to every aspect of your life.

So today I challenge you to think about that statement "Suffereing come from attachment".
Think about what that really means for you in your life.
What are you attached to? how has it caused you some level of suffering?

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