Masking Vulnerability

  Today I found myself feeling desperate. And to me that is such an ugly word, it just screams 'lack'. I noticed that whenever I feel desperate it's because I'm thinking from a place of lack, and "I don't haves". I don't have enough time, I don't have enough money, I don't have a solution, I JUST DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. That's what the thoughts in my head kept screaming today. The great part about this is it made me ask for help.

I've never been the type of person to ask for help...hell, I hardly ever accept it when it's offered. But I'd recently watched a TEDx talk about the importance of being vulnerable. The speaker said the one thing that people who live whole heartedly have in common is their willingness to be vulnerable. Now I have to say that initially my ego scoffed at the thought of vulnerability, but upon further consideration I came to the conclusion that it's actually a damn good idea! So I asked for help in every way i could. I asked the universe to give me a break and gimme a sign, and I asked a group of amazing people for support. And you know what? I got it! I felt so much love and support from people holding space for me. I even started seeing 11's everywhere. Not only did the universe have my back, but so did everyone else. And all I had to do was ask..

When you think about it, vulnerability is nothing more than being authentic, it's pure honesty. Think how much easier would your life be if you were just honest ALL the time. No more pretending you're alright, or acting like you can do it all on your own. You wouldn't have to worry about wearing a certain mask, or playing a certain role, you could just be. And let's be honest acting like you can do it all only makes you feel crappy. What usually happens is you act like you've got it under control even though you're falling apart inside, and though we may not readily admit it we want someone to reach out and offer to help. But no one does because they only know what they see and what they see is someone who's "in control" and doesn't need anything. Then we end up feeling even worse thinking no one cares enough to offer their help or support when you really need it. See how refusing to be vulnerable and ask for help just turns into an emotional downward spiral of suckyness? You  may think you're protecting yourself by refusing to be vulnerable but in reality masking your vulnerability only pushes people away and leaves you feeling exhausted, isolated and probly a little pissed off. So allow yourself to be vulnerable, be honest, be authentic, trust me it's much less stressful.